Wednesday, March 21, 2007

If eating chocolate mousse is a sin, then I am in hell

It's my nephew's birthday yesterday. So you know what that means. Aside from wala akong regalo sa kanya dahil sa angking kakuriputan ko, my mom cooked the best pansit ever and my sister bought a chocolate mousse cake.

Para sa mga hindi nakakaalam, chocolate mousse cake from Red Ribbon is one of (if not) the best cakes in the whole wide universe, followed closely by black forest and ube macapuno. This 500 calorie per serving, orgasm inducing, undeniably delicious and tempting cake is one of the reasons why I ballooned to 170+ pounds one time in my life when I was left at home and there is a whole cake of chocolate mousse in the ref.

I've been invlved in weight loss activities before like jogging, lifting weights and other wholesome(!) things that can make me sweat. But eventually, I keep on quitting every time. Nakakatamad kasi eh, pero ako makakaattract ng chikas kapag malaki tiyan ko? Baka maka-attract lang ako ng heavenly bodies at mag-orbit around ko kapag hindi ako naghinay-hinay sa pagkain.

So I will start slowly but surely. My sis is always drinking this tea that will make you get rid of harmful toxins in your body in the foulest-smelling way possible. Nakakapayat daw yung tea kapag used daily. Kaya mega try naman ako.

Ayos naman ang results. I have a regular bowel (hindi consonant) movement, happy disposition (magaan ang pakiramdam ko palagi pagkagising) and a painful anus because of crapping more than usual. Pero at least regular yung bowel movement ko. Pero hindi ko alam kung pano siya nakakapayat. Siguro dahil sa ijejebs mo lahat ng jebs na naimbak sa intestines mo na naipon ng isang siglo.

The second phase is after work (naks, parang may work na), I will go to the gym and work out. Or invite friends for a badminton session. Or stress myself to death in order to lose weight. Whatever. Then eventually, I will stop because of my dear old friend, Mr. Katamaran.

I'm getting depressed because of my "katamaran". I need to buy a choco mousse cake...

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